My wife just made me look good, again.
It’s not her job, but it’s just how she lives her life. It seems something in her heart is connected to her brain, constantly thinking of others.
I was driving to a coffee house to write, and she was off to tennis. She called and asked if I might call our friend Charlie, going in for heart surgery tomorrow.
Now, I knew Charlie was going in. We’d talked about it before. But my brain was spinning with words and ideas, things I wanted to write about, things needing done on the house, things, things, things that overload what compassion I have.
And I do think that I am compassionate, that I care about others. I do care.
But Tracy, she makes that connection between caring and doing on a daily, hourly, minute-by-minute basis. Reminding me that my granddaughter’s birthday is coming up, or is today, or reminding me to call.
I don’t always like it that much, being reminded. Sometimes I take offense, like I might actually remember on my own, I’m a grownup for Pete’s sake. But then…
So I made the call, and I could tell that Charlie was happy to hear from me (us), and he thanked me for calling.
Such a simple thing.
Connections, relationships. So durable and tough, yet fragile, given to terrible rifts and tears over almost nothing, able to withstand the most brutal of what life can hurl at us at other times.
It is no easy task, minding relationships, yet it is simple.
Make the call. Take the time. Write the note.
Perhaps it’s related in part to the male/female sensibility. I’m well aware of how current society is trying to bridge that divide, blur the differences, and in many cases that is a good thing.
Yet the differences linger.
My sisters are amazing at keeping in touch, minding the small things so they don’t become large. I am the fortunate recipient of much of that, as I regularly receive birthday cards, Christmas cards and congratulations on our anniversary from them, and I do believe that if they ever received a card from me it might cause a serious cardiac event.
Perhaps it’s just me. My brother is better at it than am I, so maybe it’s me. I’m very good at noticing that someone’s birthday was yesterday. Great.
But Tracy made me look good today.